1. |
Birthmark
03:22
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That red wine birthmark on your shoulder
Two winters longer than an fling
Could try again when we are older
Maybe the time could kill the sting
I wake up it’s fine
in the morning light
I feel sort of over it
and it’s not like I
lay awake and cry
over someone undeserving
of my space and time
god i swear I’m fine
but it’s when I go to bed
Do you remember last December?
Screaming our heads off on the frost
and how all of our friends were watching us
the way you watch something combust
and the words that hung hot in the air
and how dumb did you think that I was?
cause none of your lies were adding up
now I know
I know I know I’m better off but
I wake to find your memory
replay that one Soccer Mommy
song for an hour or til you leave
Whichever first provides relief
Was there a time before you, me?
I watch us from the mezzanine
where once there was a bolder man
you cower now in comic sans
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2. |
Close
02:58
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Losing a wheel on
A rammed interstate
And then finding a fix on
Thanksgiving day
And the show was a mess
We laughed the whole way
To the hotel we dodge
Noise complaints
And I’m not sad anymore
But if you’ve got to go
Go
We can blame it on timing
I will leave the light on in the hall
Don’t wanna tie you down
To a bird that’s not flying
Or hold you anywhere but
Close
The girl with the bangs
Has a temper to match her
Strawberry hair
She got from her dad
She’s not mad and you you will find
She talks with her hands
When she flips you the bird
Understand she is mourning
The loss of a space in time
Oh and when you go home
Is it me that you miss?
Can you divide the rotten fruit
From her pit?
Always felt we went swingin’
Destined to miss
Always felt we were lightning
Just waiting to hit
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3. |
Open Up Wide
03:07
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Got a low cut shirt to help you endure
there’s not a lot to say
cause I’m unsure
I’ll do it once more now with feeling
Do it once more now without
Open up wide
gotta pay to rent
to rot away in my mom’s basement
open up wide
gotta pay to get
to get the kids in front
head banging
Headbanging x6
Got a Chevrolet sitting fat out front
I’ve got a self esteem that’s drying up
And mummy called she wants her breakfast
Made with love
Insert the stanza that makes them weep
Remove the prose that means anything
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4. |
Starlings
05:24
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You heard me up last night
Shook the tree and watched the birds fly up and out
Pulled the trigger on the bullseye
Little starlings dropping like flies
Wish I’d pick on someone my own size
It’s just the way that I was raised to scream and shout
I’m always rooting for the bad guy
Took the shotguns out of the house
I know I’m freaking you out but
I’m pushing it down
I don’t wanna fall asleep
I’m too busy dreaming about you
And you won’t hold me when I’m weak
I know I’m too much to hold onto
So let it die
I made you cry last night
Poor little oiseaux upon the lawn
A living nightmare landmine
Flashing lights warned
Beware of dog
I don’t know what you want from me
You speak acrostic
You take the worst of me?
I find that hard to believe when
You keep your car unlocked
In case you need to flee
When I let the dark get dark
Until it swallows me whole
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5. |
Knock The Wind
02:45
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Can you stand over there so I can crush
Your head between my index and my thumb
I wanna hurt you like you did me, just because
Hold your head beneath the surface
In a pool of my own blood
And when the terracotta pots go white
Of course there will be mourning
But there also will be light
And I will heal you in a way you won’t deserve
Suck the poison from your natural reserve
It didn’t knock me down
Like I thought it should
Or around, like I knew it could
I’m a coward
Gotta talk my game
But I will admit
That it did knock the wind
Did you know killer whales are mammals too?
I’d like to move out east and choose aloneness like they do
And I will live a double life inside their mouths
Do you repent the way you’ve turned me inside out?
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6. |
My Girl
03:07
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Come out quick
I’ll be out in the car
With the heat on
Wear your coat
I’ll prepare a poem
To read from
Sit down shut up plug in
And play something soft and mad
Wanna freak the fuck out about
How we go from
Singing songs outside
The streets at night
To another thing for the worms to feed on
And I’m not scared
If the world shatters
I don’t care
Man it won’t matter
You’re still my girl
All the monsters with their
White sheets with eyes cut out
Look a lot like growing old
And sucking it in
And on a blood moon night
You’re my silver shining knight
I’m a monster you’re choosing to believe in
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7. |
Jaws
03:31
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Go on love
Surprise yourself
Show em all
How well you’re endowed
To shake out the looseness
And give them a hot mess
To talk about
Go on love, destroy yourself
I don’t remember getting old but
Somehow I’m here
Falling for the same tropes as
My mother dear
I’m shaking out all the looseness
And wearing a tight dress to mend the cause
I don’t remember getting old but somehow
I’m in her jaws
A toast to the blushing bride
Between two selves she must decide
Should she connect the dots
And follow the blueprints they leave behind?
Go on love
Lose the spine
Until you won’t even
Remember getting old till
Somehow you’re here
Falling for the same tropes as
Your mother dear
You’re shaking out all the looseness
And wearing a white dress
to play the part
I don’t remember getting old but somehow
Please don’t be alarmed
When there are maggots in my chest
Feeding upon a broken heart
I wrapped around in picket fence
And I’m feeling so hollowed out x4
I don’t remember getting old but
Somehow I’m here
Falling for the same tropes as
My mother dear
I’m shaking out all the looseness
You’re wearing a black dress to send me off
I don’t remember getting old but somehow
I’m in her Jaws
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8. |
Salmon Season
02:53
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If I just sit
Here I will rot
So I’ll take my girl around the block
And sing
For all I’ve lost
And when her eyes start rolling back behind
I’ll tell her all that I’m afraid of
Like dying someone’s daughter
Working down at the goodwill
Heart like cherry tomato
Left on the window sill
Like screaming underwater
Just trying to keep it still
Heart stuck in salmon season
Pink in the middle
And all my songs
Lead back to him
But I’ll take them to my grave to wallow in
I’ll learn to shed the dead weight
I’ll cut that loser right off
Look at the mess we’re making in the name of love
I’m just somebody’s daughter
Working down at the goodwill
Heart like cherry tomato
Left on the window sill
I’m screaming underwater
Just tryna keep it still
Heart stuck in salmon season
Pink in the middle
I’m just somebody’s daughter
Devoid of all her sense
It doesn’t really matter
I’m perfectly content
Collecting drops of water
For you to drown me still
Heart stuck in salmon season
Pink in the middle
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9. |
Barking Dog
03:07
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It is not your fault
You wield a dullish sort of knife
You are made up of atoms from
Someone who like a wishbone
Has left you in the sun to dry
And don’t you know
You can’t stop the tears from coming
Baby you were always meant to drain
And no amount of loving
Can stop the dog from barking
When she’s in pain
Yellow lawns are quilted in the streets
Where I fell smack
Dab into you
Now we’re bound by blood and gore
Blades of grass indent my elbows
You can numb the sting but nothing more
Cause now I know
You can't stop the tears from coming
Baby you were always meant to drain
And no amount loving
Can stop the dog from barking
When she’s in pain
I am the sum of parts
Kick back and watch me spark
Take all the things I lack
And brace for impact cause
The centre will not hold
Darkness reaps what darkness sows
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10. |
Cell Division
03:59
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Everything’s coming up bleak
Picking out bones from your teeth
That is why
They’ll never show you the ending
Until they’ve got you strapped in
By the feet
When I look to you I’m bent all out of shape
And I must confess it hasn’t felt the same
I am one I am one with my nothing
I am one I am one without you
I am one I am one with my nothing
When this one when this one becomes two
Fist full off sunflower seeds
For the dumb little mute canary
Now I know, the cell divide was impending
And love and hell mostly are the same thing
When I look to you the colour starts to drain
And despite the time passed
You always seem to look the same
I keep dreaming about when
There were ringlets in my hair
Gray carpet on the stairs
Tapping on the fishtank
You keep sticking out your tongue
Got the hose on the hostas
And the two of us were one
Coming home
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11. |
Stupid 4 U
03:56
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You must
Know me by heart by now
Know my birth chart
Somehow
You stick around
Just holding me
I wanna buy an old house
And gut the thing out
and wear it back down
with you holding me
I need your word
I’m stupid
So stupid for you
(clear as lucite, for the first time in my life)
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
(clear as lucite, for the first time in my life)
Just as the serpent that consumes
Herself to prove that she’s so
So stupid for you
Standing up to your father
Tasting resentment
On the lip of an arnold palmer
Unfinished basement, holy ground
You take a hit and force it out
I think you are my family now
I would die a thousand times
if I could die by your design
while listening to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
In a 500 square foot apartment
Follow you into the dark
I think you are my family now
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12. |
Are You Sick Of Me Yet?
03:17
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Here I am now on the counter
Folded up into a crane
Tried to master origami standing in the rain
You’re the golden one
Aren’t you supposed to know
How to handle all this
When things implode
I am just a rotten kid
I am just somebody’s friend
Always circling the scab
That I did invent
If anybody asks
I’ll be swimming with the birds
Off the deep end
How can’t you see?
I’m standing on my own chest
Sweet sea creature
Are you sick of me yet?
There's a concert in the city
Where the losers all pool
And the punks are sitting pretty
Sucking on their Aperol
I am crying in the bathroom
When they start to play my song
‘When You Go Home I Withdrawal’
Stay as long as you’d like
As long as you can stand it
Know it won’t be too long
Til I am reprimanded as
A girl that you once knew
Someone that you outgrew
I fall asleep now to the sounds of
Now do you see?
I’m standing on my own chest
Sweet sea creature
Are you sick of me yet?
I need you so
Did you know?
I need you so
Did you know?
I need you so
Did you know that?
Did you know that?
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Dizzy Oshawa, Ontario
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